My Intimate Thoughts

Well i’m not someone that could easily share some personal feelings especially when it is about love, but i just can’t keep this for myself so i decided to write it here…

i have fallen in love so many times before, many great memories eventhough some of them ended without being a couple and some of them are just a short period relationship. The most important thing that even some ended in a pain, i kept a good relationship with them as a friend ’til now (well not all, i kinda lost contact with couple of the girls though).

Now what’s the point? nah, that’s just a little flashback from my past love journey, which actually leads me to write about my present love story..

I always have a unique relationship with my lovers, and this one is yet the most unique that i’ve been experienced. How to explain? hmmm.. The easiest way to define unique is she’s from another country. Oh well, first of all it’s like my heart been empty for like a year, and i went here to a strange country for me, never expected to get a relationship (at least i never imagine i would involved in some serious relationship here), and when i first time i met this girl, i don’t feel anything. At one point i don’t know how, but her name just stays in my head.

One day, i googled some keywords and i found her photos floating around the net, when looking into it i think she’s cute. Since then, not only her name that stays in my head, her face stays in my heart also. As time goes by, i learned that she’s one of a kind, i believe she’s the most sweet-hearted girl i’ve ever met. she have a very good-pure heart, and just by seeing her face i could feel some peace, it’s just lovable and i can’t get out her image from my heart.

Also, she’s the most sweet person that i’ve talk to. For an example; through my messenger, it’s sweet that every end of her line, she puts a smiley icon. How i didn’t melt?

I got some chances to walk and talk with her several times, which were the most precious moment so far for me, i learned many things from her, we shared some personal thoughts, story and support each other. I feel a spirit born from my soul, just feel alive than ever. suddenly i don’t care that i actually missed many things in Indonesia, all the lifestyle i’ve experienced before just gone away.

With her, i feel that i become a better person, more positive and also i feel that i’m back to my basics, you know, like when you’re still young without sins, just nice. Thinking that if we could be a nice person, then why we chose to be bad? Now i became more aware that we only have a little time in this world, but time passed so fast. Every moment is just too precious to waste. Do we ever think that have we done enough for the life after death? for the sakeness of god. No, of course.  This led me trying to be more religious.

It’s amazing right, how just i talk about this one person i could expand to many topics, yeah she’s just so infectious to me. this one last month just wiped out all my lonelyness feelings before. each day, she kept leaving an impression in me. you know what, i could wrote stories about a day with her in my personal notes longer and faster than writing a paper related to my study. it just flew straight from my mind, so beautiful.

There’s couple of not so good times actually, but everytime i feel not so good about her, she just could erase that feeling by her smile and the look in her eyes. You know the hardest thing for me is when she says sorry, i couldn’t bear, feeling not good about her is just wrong. Until today, everyday just ended right and sweet.

In the end of this story, i’m still a person that is shy to say i love somebody to the world. But one thing changes now, in this post i’ll say to the world that i loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove her so muuuuuuuuuuuuuuch…

Here, 8 AM in the morning in my lab, i’m sitting in a chair supposed to write my paper, but ended up writing this post. haha. there you go, i just spit out the deepest story i’ve ever felt in years.

Okay, i should continue my work now.

~ by iwanbanget on November 21, 2008. Tagged: cinta